Draw Me Close Page 7

  The plastic window at the check-in counter slid open and banged on the frame. “Lindsey Morales.”

  Lindsey stood up and walked over, answered a few questions about why she was visiting, if she’d taken any medication, and if she’d been out of the country recently. Right, she could just barely afford to fill up with gas most days, she certainly wasn’t vacationing.

  When they were done she was instructed to sit once more and wait for the triage nurse. She went back to where Derek was seated and this time—out of spite and the desire to keep some distance between them—chose a chair across the aisle from him.

  “Really?” he asked, shaking his head. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. His words were a harsh whisper. “You can’t even sit by me?”

  “What do you want me to say?” she asked. “We aren’t even friends.”

  “Yeah, because of you.”

  Lindsey gasped. “Because of me? You have a lot of nerve saying that.”

  Derek sighed and let his head fall forward in defeat. After a second he looked up at her, his expression soft. “You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s absolutely because of me. But we could be friends if you allowed us to try.”

  She shrugged. “It doesn’t really seem necessary.”

  “Oh come on, Linds. One of my very good friends is getting married to your very good friend. We are both in their wedding and we are also working on their house together. The least we could do is learn to be pleasant.”

  “I’m not unpleasant!” she said indignantly.

  He raised his eyebrows and had the audacity to chuckle. “So you’re going for sweetness when you leave all those snotty little Post-its all over the work site?”

  “Those aren’t snotty, they’re informative. I’m not trying to kiss anyone’s butt. I’m trying to get my point across.”

  “Oh, you’re getting your point across, all right.” He leaned back and glanced out the window, a smile working at the corner of his mouth. “The guys even have a name for your little notes.”

  She gasped, shocked at what he was saying. “What is it?”

  Derek laughed and shook his head. “Nah, I don’t want to betray their confidence.”

  “That’s not fair. I’m a really nice person.” It was true. Her sister was always telling her she was too nice. Too agreeable. It actually hurt her feelings that his crew talked about her this way behind her back. She’d only gone on-site while they were working a couple of times. Had they been thinking bad things about her then?

  “I know you’re a really nice person,” Derek continued. “I remember it. But these days you’re only nice to everyone else. Not me.”

  Lindsey took a deep breath and looked into Derek’s face. “I don’t know how to feel right now. I was mad at you before. But now … after today … Now I know it was even worse than I’d always thought. Knowing that you’d truly never lo—”

  “Lindsey Morales,” a voice called from across the room. And thank God it had stopped her from saying something she’d regret. Obviously she was in an altered state due to the pain.

  Lindsey stood up and when Derek rose also she glanced at him, ready to tell him to sit down. He beat her to it.

  “I’m going with you, and if you argue with me I’ll make a scene. Also, this conversation is far from over.”

  * * *

  Derek was fuming as he followed Lindsey back into the triage area of the ER. He knew what she’d been about to say. She still believed he’d never loved her. And why wouldn’t she? That was basically what he’d led her to think all those years ago. At the time it had seemed the easier way out, because how did you explain to the woman you loved that you weren’t choosing her? That instead you were doing the right thing, what was expected of you, despite the fact that it hurt her. It still sounded wrong to his ears and yet he owed her the truth, as messed up as it was.

  The nurse led them to a curtained-off triage area and Derek stood while Lindsey sat in a chair. Immediately the woman asked what exactly had happened and guilt overwhelmed Derek as he listened to Lindsey explain how she’d felt her wrist twist and then smash beneath the weight of both their bodies. He was no lightweight and it was eating him up inside to know that if he’d just let her go down the hill alone as she’d first suggested, she wouldn’t be here in tremendous pain.

  “Well, let’s get this coat off of you,” the nurse said. “Then we’ll get all of your vitals.”

  “I can’t take the glove off,” Lindsey said. “It has elastic around my wrist and it hurts.”

  The woman’s brows knitted together and then she turned to a drawer. “I’ll have to cut it then.”

  Lindsey looked hesitant so Derek spoke up. “We’ll buy you some new ones. Let her cut it off.”

  “They’re Anne’s gloves,” she said.

  “Anne will understand.” He glanced at the nurse. “Cut it.”

  She did, and a moment later Lindsey’s swollen and purple wrist came into view. Derek felt dizzy at the sight of it. Not because he was squeamish, but because it was Lindsey. His Lindsey, and she was hurt. Obviously so. And he’d played a part in it.

  “Wow,” Lindsey said, her lip quivering. “It looks worse than I thought.”

  “What is your pain on a scale of one to ten? One being no pain at all,” the nurse asked.

  Derek didn’t miss the way Lindsey glanced at him quickly. “If I hold it still … maybe a three. If I bump it or move it, more like a six and a half.”

  Derek had to hold back a laugh at her choice. “A half?”

  “Seven just seemed too high, okay?” she snapped.

  The nurse’s eyes darted between the two of them as she typed something into her laptop. She continued with the examination, taking Lindsey’s blood pressure, temperature, and pulse. Luckily they were taken to a room immediately after. The nurse left them with a promise that someone would be in soon.

  Derek had been in the emergency room with his son enough times to know that “soon” could mean anywhere from five minutes to an hour.

  “Well, get comfortable,” he said, sitting down in a hard-as-hell rocking chair. “You were right. We’re gonna be here a while.”

  “Yes, so you might as well go.” Lindsey sat perched on the side of the bed, bracing her bad arm with her good one.

  Derek picked up the remote and flipped on the television that hung from the ceiling. SpongeBob came on. “Can’t leave now. This is my favorite episode.”

  Lindsey rolled her eyes, but he was relieved when she pulled her legs up on the bed and leaned back on the reclined top half. Under the harsh lights of the hospital room her normally warm-toned skin looked noticeably paler.

  After about ten minutes a woman wheeled in a cart with a laptop and announced herself as the admissions person. Derek noticed how Lindsey looked uncomfortable, her eyes darting between him and the woman, who was busy typing.

  As soon as the personal information questions started, Derek realized what was wrong. Lindsey didn’t want him in the room—even more than usual. He stood up and her eyes found his. “I’m just gonna hang out here for a minute.”

  Lindsey’s body visibly relaxed and she nodded. Derek stepped around the curtain and into the hall, leaning against the wall. It wasn’t really busy today—or at least didn’t appear to be. A few nurses glanced at him from their station and he smiled. That was when he heard Lindsey’s voice.

  “Um, I actually don’t have insurance at the moment. And I don’t have payment today. Can I just give you my address and be billed?”

  Derek let out a breath and looked down at his feet. No wonder she hadn’t wanted to come. He’d forced her here and she was stressing about paying for it. He stepped away from the wall and sauntered down the hall, feeling like an ass for eavesdropping. After a few moments the woman pulled back the curtain and wheeled out her cart.

  Derek followed her down the hall a ways before getting her attention. “Hi, uh, what do I need to do in order to have her bill sent to me?”

&nb
sp; The lady looked a little taken aback. “Are you a family member?”

  “No. I’m not. But I am a close friend.”

  “Well, I’m afraid I can’t send just anyone her bill,” she said.

  “Okay, fine. Who do I need to call to take care of this? Or can I just give you my card now?” Derek reached for his wallet. He held out a card to the woman. “Here, just … charge it to this.”

  “We don’t require payment up front at this facility.”

  “Fine. But you also can’t send me her bill, correct?”

  “Correct.”

  “Surely a hospital isn’t going to turn down money. I don’t need to know anything about her account or what you do here. I just want to pay.” He raised an eyebrow, shaking the card.

  She took it reluctantly. “I’ll bring this back in a moment then.”

  “Don’t bring it into the room. I’ll come find you in a little bit.”

  “My office is right down the hall to the left.” She pointed.

  Derek nodded. “Okay, thanks. Now put all of it on there. Anything they do today. Got it?”

  After she walked away he headed back to the room to find Lindsey resting, her eyes closed. The chair made a noise against the floor as he sat down and her eyes shot open.

  “How ya feeling?” he asked.

  “I can feel my heart pounding in my wrist,” she said. She laid her head back again.

  He was about to flag somebody down a few moments later for some pain meds when a young nurse pulled the curtain open. Derek nearly had a heart attack when he realized he knew her.

  “Knock, knock,” she said. As soon as she turned and caught sight of Derek her eyes widened. “Oh … well hi, Derek.”

  “Hey, Beth, how are you?” And please keep it brief, he thought.

  “Good. Well … I’m Beth, your nurse.” She put a smile on her face and turned to Lindsey who looked incredibly uncomfortable. And annoyed. “I’ve brought you some relief.”

  She had pills and a small cup of water which she immediately handed to Lindsey. “This is just ibuprofen for pain and swelling but it should make a good dent in that pain pretty soon.”

  Turning to the cabinet behind her, Beth pulled out a cold pack and then helped Lindsey arrange her arm comfortably on a pillow. After that she found a blanket and covered Lindsey’s legs. Had she been cold? Why hadn’t he thought of that?

  “So tell me what happened,” the nurse said. Lindsey repeated it again, a lot more quickly this time, and Beth gave an appropriate “Poor thing. You aren’t the first sledding accident we’ve seen in here this week.”

  After asking Lindsey about her pain level and touching her arm in various places, Beth informed them the doctor would see Lindsey next. Derek gave her a slight nod as she left with an awkward smile.

  He assumed Lindsey would comment, but she only laid her head back on the crinkly paper sheet and closed her eyes once more. He shouldn’t be surprised, Lindsey had always been the type to bite her tongue. Part of what made him crazy when he’d broken things off was that she’d barely said a thing. She didn’t scream or yell, call him names or hit him. He didn’t know if it would have made a difference, but he’d wanted … something. Tears had welled in her eyes that day, and it had killed him. Then he’d kissed her. Big mistake, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself and he swore he could still feel it on his lips.

  Derek threaded his fingers in his lap, watching her face as she rested. Her lips were still full and lush. Beautiful. But his Lindsey was different now. The same girl … woman, rather … but with a new edge. A stronger version of herself. At least when it came to him. It made him proud and furious at the same time. He wished they could talk about a few things now, but he hadn’t envisioned discussing the past with Lindsey in pain and lying in a hospital bed.

  Her eyes remained shut but Derek knew after the awkward nurse visit her mind was going a mile a minute. The least he could do was explain. The last thing he needed was another reason for her to hate him.

  “If you’re wondering, that wasn’t … whatever it seemed like it was.” He’d met Beth at Smokey’s—the bar in Preston—one night last summer. They’d flirted and then gone out once. End of story. No overnights, not even a second date. It just hadn’t been a match for whatever reason. He wasn’t against hookups and had even dated one woman for a while after his divorce, but he didn’t have a lot of free time, so if he wasn’t feeling it why go much further? He was pretty sure Beth had felt the same. He hoped she did anyway since he’d never called and asked her out again. The previous ten minutes had felt a little uncomfortable. Oh well.

  Lindsey didn’t bother to open her eyes or lift her head. “Well, I wasn’t wondering and I really don’t care what it seemed like.” The venom in her voice betrayed her words.

  That was it. Derek pushed out of the rocking chair, stalked over to the hospital bed, and rested his fists on each side of her hips. Lindsey’s eyes flew open, full of panic, as he leaned over her. Good, he wanted her to have some emotion besides bitchy and angry.

  “Can you throw me a fucking bone or something? I’ve done everything I can to be nice to you and you’re making this very difficult.”

  “I’m making this difficult?” she hissed. “I’ve done everything I can to stay out of your way. I don’t come to the house when you’re around, I don’t call you when something comes up, and I don’t go to Anne’s when I think you might be there. You’re the one who keeps forcing yourself on me and I’m tired of it.”

  “What if I want you to come to the house when I’m there? Do you think a contractor usually spends so much time on a job, especially if he has other properties being built in the city? What if I want you to call me when things come up? Have you thought about that?”

  “Have you thought about me? For once, can things be about me and not you? What I want and what I need? I just met your eight-year-old son and you want me to throw you a fucking bone?”

  Derek was silent for a moment, his jaw tightening. They stared at each other, he still hovering over her as she reclined on the hospital bed. All he’d done was think about her and her needs, but he knew that’s not what she meant. And she was right. He’d been selfish. Now and then. But he couldn’t help wanting a glimpse of the old Lindsey. The one that smiled at him, laughed at his jokes, and whimpered when he kissed her. He wanted it bad, even that last part, he suddenly realized, and that was a shame. It was a bad idea on so many levels.

  After a moment he sighed deeply and let his head fall forward. This close he could smell the scent of her skin, her hair, and see her chest rising with each breath. God, how he just wanted to touch her right then. Have the right to. But he didn’t have that right and probably never would if she had her way.

  He lifted his head once again. “I’m sorry. God, I keep saying it. And you’re right. I keep pushing you and it’s not fair. But please believe me when I say … I just wanna talk. I messed a lot of things up between us and I just want us to get to a place where we can … smile at each other. I miss your smile. So damn much. I dream about it. See it when I close my eyes.”

  For one moment he was sure he saw something in her eyes. Something that wasn’t anger or hatred. Something that he remembered from another time … when he was almost certain she’d been deeply in love with him.

  Derek watched her throat work as she swallowed. He leaned forward once more and let his lips rest on her forehead. He inhaled deeply, his eyes sliding closed as he soaked all of her in. This woman had tied him in knots since the moment he’d met her.

  She didn’t move for a long moment. He lifted his mouth just enough to press his lips lightly against her skin once more in the barest hint of a kiss. When he felt her right hand latch onto his wrist he waited for her to push him off.

  She didn’t. It must be the pain or the shock of her injury. Surely she wasn’t holding him against her, as much as he wished that to be true. Either way, he took it, and turning his head to the side he nuzzled her temple.


  “Lindsey … please,” he whispered. “Stop pushing me away.”

  The curtain rings shook behind him as they were pulled aside. Her body gave a small jerk beneath him and he stood upright as the doctor walked in. Touching her that way—having his lips on her soft skin—had only made things a million times worse. He wanted more.

  Six

  Nearly three hours later Lindsey walked out of the emergency room doors sporting an arm splint due to a grade 2 wrist sprain. Thank goodness it wasn’t broken or required much more than that or she’d have been in real trouble. Already she was stressing the hospital bill, wondering how long it would take for them to process everything and send it to her house. How long she might be able to put it off before they turned it over to collections. God, she wanted to lie down and cry.

  Lindsey glanced around the circle drive. Derek had run out ahead of her and pulled his truck up to the curb to wait. As soon as he saw her he got out and came around to open her door.

  “Thank you,” she said quietly. A gentle hand touched her hip as she stepped onto the running board and hoisted herself in with her good hand. She was already feeling the need for more pain pills and she was exhausted.

  Before she could reach for her seat belt Derek was leaning over her and latching it. Lindsey let her head fall back so as not to have her face smashed into his chest. She’d just about had enough of being close to this man. She didn’t like that he was starting to feel familiar. His scent, his voice. His presence. This was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid and here he’d gone and gotten her acclimated to him. Damn the man.

  Shutting her door, he headed around the front end of the truck and got into the driver’s seat. If she didn’t count the few moments he’d thankfully stepped into the hallway, he hadn’t left her side in the hospital. He’d walked beside her hospital bed into radiology. Stood behind the glass, arms folded against his chest, as they’d taken X-rays. She’d protested every move he made at first, but finally she’d given up arguing with him.

  He’d even spoken to the doctor and the nurse, inquired about things she hadn’t thought to ask. It was irritating how caring he was being. He was feeling guilty. That had to be it. But it was also working because she was finding that she lacked the energy to stay mad at him. Surely it was just the events of the day. Tomorrow, after this mess was behind her and he was back doing his own thing, she’d be able to refocus on all the ways he was a selfish ass. How he’d lied to her. Cheated on her. And with that sobering thought her anger came rushing back.